Humour Database
Worfisms
Commander Worf has been known to have a truly unique point
of view on many aspects of life, death and the universe. Come
and share these "Worfisms" with us...
Worf's Best Pearl of Wisdom
Less talk! More synthohol.
Worf on Himself
I am not easy to get along with.
I did not play with toys.
What Klingons dream of would chill your blood. It is better
that you do not know.
KIRA: Do Klingons have Gods?
WORF: Not any more. They were all slain by Klingon warriors a
millenium ago. They were more trouble than they were worth.
Worf comments on the world around him...
Good tea. Nice house.
Nice planet.
Comfortable chair.
Swimming is too much like bathing.
Nice legs. For a human.
Nice hat.
Worf on Life
A warrior does not complain of physical discomfort.
Thinking about what you can't control wastes energy, and creates
its own problems.
Human bonding rituals often involve a great deal of talking
and dancing and crying.
Worf on Love
Klingons *appreciate* strong women.
I have much to teach you about women!
Words come later. It is the scent which first speaks of love.
WORF TO WESLEY: AAAAAAAUUUUURRRGGGGHHHH! That is how the Klingon
lures a mate.
WESLEY: Are you telling me to go yell at Cilea?
WORF: No. Men do not roar. *Women* roar.... Then they hurl heavy
objects.... And claw at you...!
WESLEY: What does the man do?
WORF: He reads love poetry...! He ducks a lot.
I've been tutoring him. He learns very quickly.
This *is* sex! But I have no place for it in my life now!
Worf on Games and Sports
Talk, or play. Not both!
That is a woman's game. All the wild cards support a *weak*
hand. In a man's game there are no wild cards.
All these wild cards. It is difficult to know what exactly
is in my hand. However, I will open with fifty.
Rest assured, commander, we will be victorious whatever the
cost. (...) If winning is not important, Commander, why keep
score?
WORF TO RIKER: I have wagered heavily in the ship's pool that
you will take him past the sixth level.
RIKER: And if I don't?
WORF: I will be...irritated.
There are very few individuals on board who could have broken
my wrist.
Worf is Indignant
You are *not* Fekl'hr!
I like my species the way it is!
Sir, I protest. I am *not* a merry man!
I will *not* play the fool for Q's amusement!
Are you supposed to just *sit* here?
Please, madam, that is a torpedo launch initiator! And...it
is Worf, not Woof.
Worf Makes Excuses
I...was detained.
ANYA: You know I'm stronger than you.
WORF: I was unprepared.
Worf comments on Others
Bluffing is not one of Counselor Troi's strong suits.
Captain, these are Romulans! They are *without* honor. (...)
They believe humans and Klingons are a waste of skin.
Do not be fooled by her looks. The body is just a shell.
RIKER: He must have died in bed.
WORF: What a terrible way to die!
A friend has died in the line of duty, and has earned a place
among the honored dead. It is not a time to mourn.
Worf's Interactions with Others
WORF TO HIS SON: Did you design this program yourself?
ALEXANDER: Well, Mr. Barclay helped me a little.
WORF: I must have a...talk with Mr. Barclay.
WORF TO DATA (re: his cat Spot): I will feed him.
WORF: May I inform you, sir, that your attempt to hold the
landing party with a non-functioning weapon was an act of unmitigated
gall.
KEVIN UXBRIDGE: Didn't fool you, huh?
WORF: I admire gall.
Q: What do I need to do to convince you that I'm mortal?
WORF: Die!
WORF: I am a warrior, not a murderer.
GARAK: What you are is a great disappointment.
WORF TO KEIKO: You are doing very well. I'm sure the child
will arrive soon. (...) Congratulations. You are now fully dilated
to ten centimeters. You may now give birth. (...) The computer
simulation was not like this. That delivery was *easy*.
O'BRIEN: Worf, Keiko's having another baby.
WORF: NOW???
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